Innocent

Translation: In British folklore, there is a legend about mysterious Avalon, an island of miraculous apples.They rejuvenate and give strength. We could have been crafty with it and tell you that we deliver our juice from there, but why bother? Our apples ARE a true miracle.

Explanation: Russian people like fairy tales and are mostly aware of some old British stories eg. King Arthur which can be associated with the legend I mentioned (even though it’s not). Again, a Russian expression that ‘something/somebody IS just a miracle’ has both ironic and serious undertone to it. Russian people are likely to smile reading this.

Translation: “The grass is green, the sky is blue, oranges are tasty. Very healthy too.” It’s worth mentioning that these great lines never became our corporate anthem. However, the point is still there: innocent is a delicious, healthy and natural juice.

Explanation: The ‘anthem’ rhymes in Russian too.

Translation: In Japan, the do massage to their cows so that they could give better milk. In China, the play classical music to their hens so that they could bring more eggs. In England, our farmers sing songs to their apples so that they became sweeter…Or perhaps they are just bored, we’ve never asked. However, we know for sure that our juices are made of the best, freshest and healthiest fruits. You may try yourself. Get up earlier. Take your favourite glass. Pour some juice in it. Now drink. It’s just a like song for your soul, isn’t it?

Explanation: Firstly, I thought expanding a bit more on some curious fact about stock-raising/agricultural tricks in other countries could provide a more interesting reading. A modest joke about the English farmers could help too as they will probably be imagined looking and acting similar to the Russian farmers, which is a nice and friendly association. Finally, there is an expression in Russian ‘It’s just like a song for your’ soul that Russian people will find familiar as well.

Translation: British scientists once wanted to find out: is it true that if one will be lifting a box with oranges daily during a week, they will become 2 times as healthy? Now imagine. On the day of the experiment, it’s pouring rain, the volunteers are running late. Somebody finds a juice squeezer in the laboratory. Naturally, all the oranges are gone within an hour. The scientists felt down at first but then made a test: it turned out they became not 2, but 10 times as healthy… What are we talking about? Ah, right. Hurry up, else they will drink it all again.

Explanation: British scientists is a popular internet meme in Russia. Everybody in Russia who has access to the internet knows that if a story begins with ‘British scientists found out / wanted to find out…’, then there is a chance of reading a story about some jolly, yet not necessarily useful experiment. Therefore, I can guarantee they will read it till the end, nevermind the 3rd person usage.

Translation: Berries are human’s friends. We know, we know, we confused it all. Yet, you don’t have to walk them at 5 o’clock in the morning, they don’t jump in your bed or run around with other berries in the neighbourhood. Instead, they wait for you at breakfast. Ready in a bottle.

Explanation: There is a popular saying in Russia: “a dog is a human’s friend”. Here we are breaking a cliche, which is quite unexpected from the beginning. I believe a smoothie will benefit both from a comparison with ‘human’s friends’ and a short humorous story.